Top 10 Freelancer Lies

I have time free now to work on your project

True meaning: This one might be true, but I will never say I don't have time for a project unless I really don't want it or I am insanely busy.

I understand your instructions

True meaning: I have not read them fully yet or not at all.

I am waiting for delivery on ….

True meaning: I am stalling for time, and I am blaming someone else for the delay.

I really look forward working on your project

True meaning: I am already counting the money for the project, and I am hoping you don't waste my time too much during the project, so I can make a killing, and take my family on vacation.

I enjoy working with you

True meaning: I have nothing better to do, and I am already spending the money I will earn from you.

I never got that e-mail

True meaning: I think I never got that e-mail. (Sometimes a mail does not go through, but yes, its very rare).

I already sent you an e-mail about that

True meaning: I hope that I can make you believe that the e-mail is somewhere in your inbox. For some clients, where I used that excuse often enough, I actually convinced them into changing hosts (to which I made a side-kick from a gratefull friend).

I could not work since my computer was down

True meaning: I try to blame the computer for not working correctly. Who has not experienced that problem? Most clients will be sympathetic, however, it only works once, or they start looking for someone else who is more professional / has a better computer.

I am waiting for my sub-contractor

True meaning: This could happen, I have experienced it myself, I never use that as an excuse in front of my clients, I would rather take the blame myself. However, as an excuse because I simply have not worked on a project, it works fine as an excuse! (Just remember if you are using subcontractors, or the client might become suspicious).

I have been working hard, so I have not had time to get back to you

True meaning: I was out doing something else that was more entertaining than working on your boring project.

So, thats it. which ones have you used? Both those who worked, and those who didn't.