Showing posts with label copywriting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label copywriting. Show all posts

Friday, June 26, 2009

企业标语的诞生




方莺吟
董事
译力双语服务私人有限公司

记得2000年开始在新加坡当翻译员的时候,我的老板兼师父说了一则香港国泰航空企业标语的故事。当时,国泰的英文标语是‘Arrive in Better Shape’。顾名思义,当你乘坐国泰航空,下机时准不会让灰头土脸。可是这样一句很‘英文’的标语,如何以几个中文字将整个形象表达出来,而又不失文采呢?

这当然不是件容易的事,不然国泰航空也不会重金征集佳句了。后来一位老先生以一句‘航行万里,神采飞扬’捧走丰厚奖金。相信他在领取奖金的时候,肯定也神采飞扬,笑不拢嘴。

成功的企业标语不但深入人心,而且寥寥数字所展现的神韵,确实能为企业形象起着画龙点睛的加分效用。

跨国公司,尤其是以消费群众为诉求对象的企业,不但在选用企业标语时要慎重其事,费尽心思(甚至是大洒金子),而且还要找一个能跟英文版匹配的中文标语,才能旗鼓相当,互映生辉。比如汇丰银行的‘The World’s Local Bank’,中文版为‘环球金融,地方智慧’,堪称是这几年较为知名的精彩译文标语经典。

有些人会说,哇,才想几个字就能赚这么多钱,很好赚哦!其实好标语都得惜字如金,既要简单明了,又要耐看耐读,而且要做到‘说得更少,寓意更深’,如同大师挥毫一样,寥寥数笔就能把一个人物的形和神跃然纸上,真的很考功夫呀!如果一个不小心翻得不好,对企业来说可谓得不偿失。企业的品牌价值,何止千金。想一想,如果我们把花旗银行的‘Citi Never Sleep’翻成‘花旗不睡觉’,肯定会让人笑到喷饭。当然,这种事也不太可能发生(正确答案是:花旗从不歇息)。

以前当个看热闹的门外汉,读到一些经典的企业标语,总觉得:嘿,这么简单,我也可以翻得出来嘛。所以在3年前创立译力双语服务公司的时候,就拿自己的公司来开刀,想了一个自认为不错的标语:‘译出飞扬神采,展现企业魅力’,刚好把‘译力’两字镶在头尾,将创立语言服务的使命放在中间。

自从听闻那一则国泰航空的标语故事后,整整过了7年,才终于让我有机会为一家本地银行的企业标语抄刀。这家在新加坡拥有超过百年历史的银行,要展现一种‘始终在您身边’的亲切老邻居形象。当时他们的英文标语是‘Your Bank and More’。但是自己的功夫还是不到家,墨水也不够,所以绞尽脑汁也没法交出佳句。后来,还是客户自己想出一个相当不错的标语‘伴您成长,与您相随’。

看到最后出炉的标语时,坦白说,我真的心服口服。虽然中英两句并排放在一起,只有‘您’字对得上号,而More字则大有文章。它包含着‘陪伴’和‘相随’,既亲切又诚恳,完全是一种柔性而没有傲气的诉求。搭配这个标语的,是一个身穿金色制服且笑容可掬的年轻女职员,完全契合该银行的‘邻里银行’定位。

丢失了第一个机会,第二个机会来得比我想象中还快。半年之后,这家银行又换了第二个标语:Neighbour First, Banker Second。直译起来,就变成‘邻里第一,银行第二。’当然,这种口号式而老套的标语,根本不会被看上眼。有了前车之鉴,我基本上也大致摸清客户的诉求和风格。
在当时呈上的文案中,有一些是自己不甚满意,但也只能拿来凑数的几个标语。

邻里优先,银行为次。----- 意思最接近,但没有很强的Feel。
心系邻里,服务优先。----- 缺少感动人的元素。
邻里优先,贴近您心。----- 这些词都有点老了。

一个月后,偶然间到该银行办事,随手拿起最新的宣传册,打开一看,当初的其中一个标语就静静地列在左下角 – 深耕邻里,伴您同行。那一种成就感,我到现在还记得。

Corporate Blog of Elite - Professional Translation Services serving ASEAN & East Asia

Saturday, October 25, 2008

How to Write for a Multilingual Marketplace (Part 2)

by Suzan St Maur

In the first part of this article, we looked at how to get over the problems of language length—and, when you're writing for multiple translations, how you need to keep your original very simple and basic.

We've all heard the jokes about embarrassing translations in the marcom arena—e.g., the following edited from a list of supposedly true stories:

* The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted it to expand advertising to Mexico. Unfortunately, the Spanish translation read, "Are you lactating?"

* Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like Electrolux."

* Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had a use for the manure stick.

* Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

* Coors put its slogan "Turn it loose" into Spanish, and it was interpreted as "Suffer from diarrhea."

And so on. Whether these are true is debatable. But the awful thing is, they could happen for real. And if I were responsible for a hefty international marketing or ad budget, examples such as these would wipe the smile right off my face.

Ad Copy and Brand Names: Only By the Experts, Please

There are some lessons to learn here about writing for branding and ad copy in multiple languages:

1. Get the homework and background research done by marcom experts in every language market you're going to. One Spanish-speaking country will have words and interpretations that are different from another. Brazilian Portuguese is different from the Portuguese in Portugal. Parisian French is slightly different from Belgian French and Swiss French and Québécois French. And that's before we even get started on languages in the Middle East, Africa, Asia and beyond.

2. Make sure that your translations are done not just by translation experts in each language but by translation experts who understand how to write ad copy. Insist on this when you hire the translation agency. They may think it's OK to use a native-speaker journalist or other professional writer who isn't a trained copywriter. That's not good enough if you want to get bang for your buck in the foreign ad spend.

3. It's impossible to judge the quality of translations into languages you don't speak, so get them double-checked by an appropriate native speaker. Don't leave it to the translation agency; play it safe. Preferably, get a native-speaker copywriter (perhaps from the local ad agency?) to run through it and tighten it up if necessary.

Humor: Some Works, Some Doesn't

Humor can be a hot potato because what is hysterical in one country could be deeply offensive in another. However, here a couple of tips for humor that should work internationally.

Use humor about situations, not people. Obviously, most humor is going to involve people in one way or another. But as long as the butt of the joke is a situation or set of circumstances, not people, you're far more likely to get a laugh whatever the language. For example:

Some people are driving along at night and are stopped by a police car. The officer warns the driver that one of the rear lights isn't working. The driver jumps out and looks terribly upset. The officer reassures him that it's just a warning, so there's no problem. "Oh yes there is a problem," says the man as he rushes toward the back of the car, "if you could see my rear lights it means I've lost my trailer."

The butt of the joke is the broken rear light and the loss of the trailer, not the policeman or the driver, so no one can be offended. And most people can identify with how that would feel.

Play on the concept, not the words. Wordplays just don't work from one language to another. However, if the play or double entendre is in the concept rather than the words, it probably will work.

For example, a couple of wordplays in English that wouldn't translate easily, if at all:

* Deja-moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

* The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

These, however, probably would translate because the humor is in the concept, not in the words themselves:

* You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

* The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Hope that helps next time you need to write something for translation. Bonne chance!

Suzan St Maur (www.suzanstmaur.com) writes extensively on marketing and business communications and is the author of the widely acclaimed Powerwriting.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

How to Write for a Multilingual Marketplace (Part 1)

by Suzan St Maur

Everyone thought I was nuts to take on the scriptwriting job doing sales-training videos for the European division of a major US car manufacturer.

"You write it in English so ze boys in Detroit can understand und approve it," said the German producer on the phone to me. "Zen I shoot the video and do one edit. Zat's all zey vant to spend."

"Fine," I ventured. "So what's the catch?"

"Zat one edit gets voiceovers in 11 different languages," he continued, sniggering a little. "Ze translations are all different lengths. So your original has to work in chunks mit long gaps in English, so it can flow at 90 miles an hour in Greek.

"It's a bloody nightmare," he said finally. "Still vant to do it?"

I let out a long sigh, stared at my sparse-looking bank statement and said yes.

Here, then, is some advice based on my painful experience.

Allow for different language lengths

Strictly speaking, this is more of a design issue. But as we saw, it can affect the words, too.

If you intend to use the same visual template for more than one language version, ensure that your design allows for differing amounts of text (or spoken speech.)

Bear in mind that English is the just about the shortest of the world's commercial languages. So if your text is a tight fit in English, you'll be way over length in many other languages. You need up to three times as much space for some of them. So keep your English version short and sweet.

If accuracy is essential, use the lowest common denominators

Sadly, figurative speech doesn't translate. However, translators valiantly attempt to do it, often with unfortunately amusing results.

Here's an example from one of my earlier articles, "How To Write Right To Your Customers' Hearts." My original paragraph:

Probably the most important part of getting your writing right is to really know what makes your customers (or any other audience) tick. Customer analysis techniques are great for getting hard facts and data. But if you want to write so you touch their hearts, you need to back up the formal information with something a bit more emotional.

The Spanish translation that appeared on a South American Web site:

Probablemente la parte más importante de escribir bien es saber realmente que es lo que a sus clientes (o cualquier otra audiencia) les llama la atención. Las técnicas de análisis de clientes son buenas para poder obtener hechos e información. Pero si quiere escribir para llegar muy cerca de su corazón, usted necesita respaldar la información formal con algo emocional.

How Google translated it back into English:

Probablemente the part most important to write or is to really know that is what to his clients (or any other hearing) it calls the attention to them. The techniques of analysis of clients are good to be able to obtain facts and information. But if he wants to write to arrive closely together from his heart, you need to endorse the formal information with something emocional.

Phew. Lucky it wasn't instructions for heart surgery. Had I been writing my piece for multiple languages, I would have written it like this, with simple syntax and all figurative speech stripped out:

To write effectively, it is most important that the writer knows the customers (or any other group you're writing for) very well, and understands how they think. It's possible to get useful facts and information from customer analysis techniques. However, if the writer wants to appeal to customers emotionally, emotional writing must be added to the formal information.

Boring, isn't it? But it wouldn't be open to quite so many misunderstandings. Yes, they can be funny. But in a marketing or sales context, they can be costly, too.

Be aware of how other languages work

You notice in the paragraph above that I've removed my beloved "you" in favor of "the writer." This is especially important if you're writing for languages like Spanish or Portuguese, where often they don't talk to "you," but to the third person.

I believe that's why things went wrong with the translation of that article on the South American Web site. The translators haven't been able to figure out that "he" and "you" are the same person.

Try as far as you can to organize your grammar and syntax in the English version so that they're as simple as possible. That makes it easier for translators to get it right.

In part two of this article, we'll look at the following:

  • The importance of different language structures
  • Multilingual ad copy—a tricky one
  • Translating humor—even trickier

Until then, au revoir!

Suzan St Maur (www.suzanstmaur.com) writes extensively on marketing and business communications and is the author of the widely acclaimed Powerwriting.